Top Secret Vista SP1 Code Revealed!
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  1. #1
    pete_1967 Guest

    Top Secret Vista SP1 Code Revealed!

    Code:
    /*
        TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Project:Longhorn(TM) SP1
        Estimated release date: 2008
    */
    
    #include "win95.h"
    #include "win98.h"
    #include "leopard.h"
    
    char chew_up_some_ram[10000000];
    
    void main() {
        while(!CRASHED) {
            if(first_time_install) {
               make_10_gigabyte_swapfile();
               do_nothing_loop();
               search_and_destroy(FIREFOX|OPENOFFICEORG|ANYTHING_GOOGLE);
               hang_system();
            }
    
            if(still_not_crashed) {
                basically_run_windows_xp();
                do_nothing_loop();
            }
        }
    
        if(!DX10GPU()) {
            set_graphics(aero, very_slow);
            set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
        }
    
        //printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
        //printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
        printf("Welcome to Windows Vista");
    
        while(something) {
            sleep(10);
            get_user_input();
            sleep(10);
            act_on_user_input();
            sleep(10);
            flicker_led_promisingly(hard_disk);
        }
    
        create_general_protection_fault();
    }
    From TechRadar.com's ad in Linux Format issue 102

  2. #2
    JN4OldSchool is offline "Sean The Terrible" -- The forum(er) Vista® rep
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    so what has changed with SP1? This looks like the same Win 95...er...vista code that is in place?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by JN4OldSchool
    so what has changed with SP1? This looks like the same Win 95...er...vista code that is in place?
    Windows 95:
    Code:
    char chew_up_some_ram[1000000];
    Windows Vista:
    Code:
    char chew_up_some_ram[10000000];

  4. #4
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    lol, cool one
    Robi
    Woodworking ideas

    "Fedora -- All my bits are free, are yours?" - Jasse Keating
    "Because open sorce matters" - Joomla!
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  5. #5
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    Nice, now how do I expand that file so that it takes up 5GB of space?

  6. #6
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    this is great!
    focus on everything...
    Get Swiftfox
    registered linux user #438335

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by angryfirelord
    Nice, now how do I expand that file so that it takes up 5GB of space?
    I believe that's a feature in Vienna

  8. #8
    pete_1967 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by angryfirelord
    Nice, now how do I expand that file so that it takes up 5GB of space?
    Add few thousand comment tags until uncompressed filesize is what you want and tar

    For added flavour, replace comment tags with few thousand text files each repeating 1 character again and again, and combine your decompression bomb with a tarbomb

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by pete_1967
    Add few thousand comment tags until uncompressed filesize is what you want and tar

    For added flavour, replace comment tags with few thousand text files each repeating 1 character again and again, and combine your decompression bomb with a tarbomb
    Of course, how could I be so naive! I forgot to read my .NET programming textbook today!

    Oh and don't forget that infinite for loop running in the background. An idle CPU is a CPU wasted.

  10. #10
    PabloTwo's Avatar
    PabloTwo is offline "Registered User" T-Shirt Winner
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    I usually just roll my eyes and click away from the M$ bashing type threads.
    This one had me in stitches. Great.

    Paul

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by PabloTwo
    I usually just roll my eyes and click away from the M$ bashing type threads.
    This one had me in stitches. Great.

    Paul
    But this one isn't bashing MS. It's bashing one of MS' curses... eh.. operating systems?
    I am not a lawyer.
    Fedora: Intel Core i7-4790 @ 4x3.6 GHz

  12. #12
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    You call Vista a curse? It's worse than that...
    HP Notebook | AMD 7th Gen A6 4200 Dual-Core CPU - 2.0 GHz | 4 GB DDR4 RAM | 500 GB HDD | Radeon HD Graphics | Windows 10

    No fate but what we make...
    My Blog: kona0197.wordpress.com

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by kona0197
    You call Vista a curse? It's worse than that...
    I know, but I don't know a strong enough word.
    I am not a lawyer.
    Fedora: Intel Core i7-4790 @ 4x3.6 GHz

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by kona0197
    You call Vista a curse? It's worse than that...
    Are you kidding me? With the amount of POUs (Pissed Off Users) increasing, it's a godsend for Linux. It'll finally give these people a clue that Microsoft doesn't give a crap about its customer base.

    I say keep it coming. I hope Windows 7 is even more horrendous than Vista.

  15. #15
    Demz Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by angryfirelord
    Are you kidding me? With the amount of POUs (Pissed Off Users) increasing, it's a godsend for Linux. It'll finally give these people a clue that Microsoft doesn't give a crap about its customer base.

    I say keep it coming. I hope Windows 7 is even more horrendous than Vista.
    infact, MS do care that much about there customers there gonna give the Next Version of Windows for Free

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