Top Secret Vista SP1 Code Revealed!

[pete_1967]

/*
    TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Project:Longhorn(TM) SP1
    Estimated release date: 2008
*/

#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "leopard.h"

char chew_up_some_ram[10000000];

void main() {
    while(!CRASHED) {
        if(first_time_install) {
           make_10_gigabyte_swapfile();
           do_nothing_loop();
           search_and_destroy(FIREFOX|OPENOFFICEORG|ANYTHING_GOOGLE);
           hang_system();
        }

        if(still_not_crashed) {
            basically_run_windows_xp();
            do_nothing_loop();
        }
    }

    if(!DX10GPU()) {
        set_graphics(aero, very_slow);
        set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
    }

    //printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
    //printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
    printf("Welcome to Windows Vista");

    while(something) {
        sleep(10);
        get_user_input();
        sleep(10);
        act_on_user_input();
        sleep(10);
        flicker_led_promisingly(hard_disk);
    }

    create_general_protection_fault();
}

From TechRadar.com's ad in Linux Format issue 102

[JN4OldSchool]

so what has changed with SP1? This looks like the same Win 95...er...vista code that is in place?

[savage]

so what has changed with SP1? This looks like the same Win 95...er...vista code that is in place?

Windows 95:

char chew_up_some_ram[1000000];

Windows Vista:

char chew_up_some_ram[10000000];

[jazzfan]

lol, cool one

[angryfirelord]

Nice, now how do I expand that file so that it takes up 5GB of space?

[Wangberg]

this is great!

[savage]

Nice, now how do I expand that file so that it takes up 5GB of space?

I believe that's a feature in Vienna

[pete_1967]

Nice, now how do I expand that file so that it takes up 5GB of space?

Add few thousand comment tags until uncompressed filesize is what you want and tar

For added flavour, replace comment tags with few thousand text files each repeating 1 character again and again, and combine your decompression bomb with a tarbomb

[angryfirelord]

Add few thousand comment tags until uncompressed filesize is what you want and tar

For added flavour, replace comment tags with few thousand text files each repeating 1 character again and again, and combine your decompression bomb with a tarbomb

Of course, how could I be so naive! I forgot to read my .NET programming textbook today!

Oh and don't forget that infinite for loop running in the background. An idle CPU is a CPU wasted.

[PabloTwo]

I usually just roll my eyes and click away from the M$ bashing type threads.
This one had me in stitches. Great.

Paul

[clearer]

I usually just roll my eyes and click away from the M$ bashing type threads.
This one had me in stitches. Great.

Paul

But this one isn't bashing MS. It's bashing one of MS' curses... eh.. operating systems?

[kona0197]

You call Vista a curse? It's worse than that...

[clearer]

You call Vista a curse? It's worse than that...

I know, but I don't know a strong enough word.

[angryfirelord]

You call Vista a curse? It's worse than that...

Are you kidding me? With the amount of POUs (Pissed Off Users) increasing, it's a godsend for Linux. It'll finally give these people a clue that Microsoft doesn't give a crap about its customer base.

I say keep it coming. I hope Windows 7 is even more horrendous than Vista.

[Demz]

Are you kidding me? With the amount of POUs (Pissed Off Users) increasing, it's a godsend for Linux. It'll finally give these people a clue that Microsoft doesn't give a crap about its customer base.

I say keep it coming. I hope Windows 7 is even more horrendous than Vista.

infact, MS do care that much about there customers there gonna give the Next Version of Windows for Free