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Old 25th February 2012, 06:10 PM
dwarthog Offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 26
linuxfirefox
Fedora 16 QLogic bugfix desc

Nothing like having a little fun while you work!

Well done!

Quote:
FEDORA-2012-1878

Release : Fedora 16
Type : bugfix
Status : stable
Issued : 2012-02-17 00:25:16
Description : The note said to come to the QLogic underground parking garage
: at 2:30 AM, and in my business, when notes like
: that land in your mailbox, well, you come. It
: was poorly lit, with low ceilings, and
: crumbling pillars scattered about. There were
: no cars, just shadows hiding oil spills and
: other unidentifiable stains. I heard a
: whispering summons from behind a corner pillar,
: so I cautiously approached. A hand emerged from
: the darkness and thrust a USB key at me.
: "Here", he said forcefully, "your users need to
: have this". I asked him what it was, but he
: just laughed. "They're firmware updates for the
: Linux kernel drivers for QLogic fibrechannel
: adaptors, but that's not the question you
: should be asking." I rubbed the USB key between
: my fingers, then took the bait. "Okay,
: mysterious person, what is the question I
: should be asking?" I saw a flicker of flame as
: a cigarette was lit, then smoke danced into the
: damp air. "You should be asking, what does the
: firmware do and what does it fix in this
: revision", the smoking man whispered, before
: coughing loudly.
:
: I sighed loudly. "Look man, I'm sure it fixes
: bugs, or enables some new hardware features.
: Did this really merit dragging me out here in
: the middle of the night? I don't even know who
: you are." The cigarette flared as the man took
: another pull. "Call me, Deep Bloat. And you
: have no idea what this firmware really does.
: They don't want to you to know. They don't
: think you can handle the truth." Now, I was
: curious. "What could it possibly do? It's just
: a set of assembly code that is loaded via the
: kernel driver to be executed directly by the
: fibrechannel adaptor!" Deep Bloat sighed.
: "You're not seeing the big picture. This
: conspiracy is huge, it touches so many
: different things, this is just the tip of the
: iceberg!" I waited silently, I had suspected
: something big was happening, but I never
: thought it would involve a simple firmware
: update.
:
: Suddenly, his voice raised and he spewed forth
: his words like an assault: "Why do you think
: QLogic is so secretive about their firmware
: updates? They push these firmware updates out,
: insist that they be updated, but they won't
: tell you anything about what they do or why
: they're necessary! Forget the source code, they
: don't want you to pull back the curtain to see
: how deep the rabbit hole goes." More cigarette
: smoke flowed as he regained his composure. "I'm
: going to stop that today. I'm going to tell you
: what this firmware does, and you will tell the
: world."
:
: I leaned towards the shadowy informant,
: carefully preparing to hear his next words, but
: the next sound was that of a gunshot, violently
: echoing through the garage and my ears. I saw
: Deep Bloat slump to the ground, his cigarette
: butt at his side, as I rushed towards him. He
: gurgled and sputtered, but pulled me close to
: his mouth. My hands were hot and sticky with
: his blood, my heart pounding out of my chest,
: as he whispered his final word to me...
: "rosebud".
:
: Another shot rang out, and I heard a steam pipe
: burst. Somehow, I found the courage to run
: through the scalding mist and found my way
: outside. I didn't stop running for what felt
: like an eternity, but when my feet couldn't
: carry me anymore, I looked at the bloody USB
: key in my hands and knew what I had to do. I
: owed Deep Bloat that much, even if I had no
: idea what rosebud meant, at least, not yet.
:
: *****
: Please note: QLogic refuses to disclose what
: changes between revisions of their firmware,
: but insists that the updates are mandatory.
: Your guess is as good as mine as to what goes
: in them, so I let my imagination run wild. The
: above update text is fiction, or is it?
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