Thanks for the answers , It looks like either wait, or find another DM to use on the vnc...
Any ideas on how to stop being logged in as root on the remote machine ?
Just another thing, how do you get out of fullscreen mode , I tried the normal thing like ESC ,
---------- Post added at 05:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:37 PM ----------
The first time I use the vnc into a gnome shell, its in fallback mode, the next time , its still gnome shell in fallback mode
BUT the applications and location pulldown menus have gone.
I created a new user on the remote machine and logged in with the vnc to get exactly the same behaviour
I've loaded xfce4 to use as an alternative |DM for the second user.
Whats the hidden file called I need to put Desktop=xfce4 in please, I tried .local, but not that.